~I’m WALK’N HERE!

~I’m WALK’N HERE!
Ok, so the other day was my third time in the Lokomat. What’s a Lokomat you ask? It’s this contraption at Pushing Boundaries where handi’s like me can walk in. I told you about it when I first started going there. I FINALLY did it! It’s HOT! It’s sooo HOT!!! I’ve been in this chair now for what? I don’t know like three and a half years. So to be up on your feet walking is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!
Now I AIN’T going to lie at first it wasn’t comfortable. They put this thing-a-ma-jig on you like a girdle. It kinda looked like a harness they put on someone Para-shooting. Ok so not only can you not breath your breasts are shoved up so high your like, HELLO GIRLS! However, they do make for a nice chin rest. Then there are straps that go around your inner thighs and butt cheeks. Next they hook the mess to the arm of the Lokomat over your head.

Once you are all strapped in the arm raises up so you are suspended in air like a puppet. I mean it was totally NSYNC video style like back in the day. Owe I’M NOT done. Next they strap on Storm Trooper like robotics to your legs. Then they turn on the robotic. I swear I heard Darph Vador’s theme song off in the distance.

At first you are walking in one place suspended in midair. I am over a treadmill. What’s crazy is Aaron turns on the treadmill. So it’s going and the robot is making my legs walk. The machine perfectly times lowering me down on to the moving treadmill so my feet hit the ground walking. MAGIC
Now keep in mind I haven’t walk’d an INCH in three and a half years. At first the repeated motion of my feet hitting the treadmill WASN’T COOL! Not one bit. My feet first started tingling and then itching along with my lower leg. I thought I was going to die they itched so bad. I didn’t stop I figured it was because I was getting circulation in areas that hadn’t really moved for so long. I was right. By 15 minutes I was STRAIGHT!
I can’t describe how great I felt walking. Even something as simple as breathing was a HUGE difference. My Diaphragm was able to completely expand. Popeye told me to swing my arms. I was like O-K? I swung my arms as told. He said good, you can still do that. I looked at him puzzled. So he explained to me a lot of people in wheelchairs forget how to do that movement. Interesting RIGHT?!

It was weird I got a little winded. My mind was like I’m not moving my feet; why am I tired? It was a moving experience. I didn’t realize how much I missed walking. I don’t know if it was just adrenaline or what. I felt great the next few days. It’s like all my joints were realigned an oiled. I wish I could start each day on the machine.
• Side note Hulk quit and Super Girl was fired a while back…But no worries ladies Popeye is still with us.

So Summer has been jammed packed. I’ve missed you all. It’s not that I haven’t had nothing to say. I’ve just haven’t had time to say it. I’m going to walk in the Lokomat as time, money and rides permit. Lastly all my peeps with a work’n set of legs don’t take am for granted. If I would have known back then my walking days were numbered, I would have walked down another block or two. I’m just say’n

~The brown and yellow Doodle Poodle update

~The brown and yellow Doodle Poodle update

Ok so as we know Bentley is my favorite. But let’s NOT GET IT TWISTED, Doodle’s last name is Raney. He is my fur child. Ok so remember how they sent my baby home say’n they couldn’t find anything wrong. They just prescribed him pain pills and sent him home. Yet when he came home he was still doing the same thing. Albee and I knew something was wrong with our boy. So his emergency exam was Thursday. The following Wednesday was his teeth cleaning. When Albee took him for cleaning he insisted they take a closer look at his left ear while was under anesthetics.

Wednesday afternoon I get a call from the vet. He tells me Mrs. Raney we found a Fox Tail (http://www.csupomona.edu/~jcclark/dogs/foxtails.html) in Doodle’s ear. Then he said he would send it home with Albert so I could see it. I got off the phone like wait a minute. He just did thsat doctor thing to me. YOU know act like you hadn’t just been say’n something ain’t right. As if they were the ones trying to convince you something isn’t right. HOLD up a minute doc. It’s Wednesday Albee brought my baby in to you LAST Thursday telling you something is wrong and we think it’s his left ear. CHECK IT you keep the Foxtail pin it to YOUR board above YOUR computer. That way when YOU see it, it can remind YOU, YOU missed it once and a dog suffered longer than necessary. PLEASE!(said how a mad Samuel Jackson would)

Albert did bring it home with Doodle. It was knarly lookin. It had been in his ear for almost a week. It had curled ad latched into his inner ear. Oh and yup it gave Doodle an infection. Albee has to put a tube in his ear once a day to squirt medicine in it. Albert say’s I’m over reacting. Maybe so. It just gives me flash back to going to the doctor after experiencing my first MS symptom and the doctor sent me home and said nothing is wrong. They make you feel like you’re crazy. Ok you’re not gods you’re doctors. Just cause YOU can’t find anything wrong doesn’t mean there is nothing wrong.

Anyway…WHAT-EV he just has to be checked in a week to make sure he is ok in a week. Doodle isn’t a lap dog like Bentley. He would rather not be held. When Albee brought him home from the hospital he unsuccessfully tried to jump into my lap. He was really week. He jumped and bounced off the side of my wheelchair. It was sad but funny at the same time. So not wanting him to kill himself with a second try Albee picked him up and put him in my lap. He melted into me and stayed there most of the evening. Over the next several days he wouldn’t bark (that’s unheard of for Doodle). He wanted to be held by oddly me most of the time. Not Albert who is his favorite.

Sometimes I meet people that ask me if I have kids. NO I don’t have no kids! After this experience I’m going to schedule a voluntary hysterectomy. Can you imagine me still walking and have kids? I’d be LIGHT’n it up every other day. I’d be incarcerated by now. I’m just say’n…

~I don’t even no where to start!

~I don’t even no where to start!

So last night I started a blog entry about the INSANITY of the Batchlorett! I mean in a SANE mind 25 men or woman dating ONE man or woman makes NO since. 10 or so years ago when whomever pitched the idea to the networks they laughed them out of their building. Perhaps the idea came up in a brainstorming session at ABC. I’m sure initially they MUST have questioned if it would work. Anyways a normal night. Right, whatever. Went to bed got up went about my business as normal. Left the house around 9:00 with a friend. No big whoop. I get home around noon to Albert say’n we need to keep an eye on Doodle.

I’ve never talked about my fur kids. I have two toy Poodles. The oldest Bentley is five and Doodle is four. Yes we named him Doodle the Poodle! Our rhyme for him goes a little something like this…Doodle noodle the brown and yellow Poodle. Y-E-A-H now that I see it written down it’s not really a rhyme(STOP rolling your eyes AG). I love my dogs, I really DO! One more than the other, like every parent. People who say they love there children the same are lying! Well lying or their kids are to young to have fully developed personalities and opinions. True we love them all we just like some or one more.

When our pups were young they didn’t have a parental preference. Early on they were just learning the basics. You know where to potty and where and when not to potty. Bentley being the smarter of the (my dog) mastered the basics in no time. Doodle not so much. Let’s just say his name fits him.

Anyways ask Albee why are we watching him? He answers with a rather pregnant W-E-L-L with a slight tilt to his head. He is shaking, tail tucked between his legs with a strange tilt to his head. On top of that when he tried touching behind his ear he whence and whined in pain. All the while he is telling me this Doodle is in his arms. When he puts him on the floor sure enough everything he says is true. I’m immediately am a pull of butter on the floor.

I call their Naturopathic Vet but of course she can’t get him in last minute. However she say’s we should definitely have him seen. NO DUH LADY!
•(side bar)Before you judge me about the naturopathic vet consider I was born in 72 my mother wasn’t quite a hippie. At the same time she WOULD open capsules of herbal supplements in a teaspoon of honey and feed it to us. As if the honey hid the taste of the herbs. PLEASE It taste like I had taken a bite of the backyard. Oh and what about the enemas. I still have nightmares of being 4 or 5 and my Mom with help from a friend. Friend held me down on the bathroom floor while mom administered the “healthy” mixture. Once applied my mother lovingly held my little butt cheeks together telling me hold it honey.

So we live down the street from Elliott Bay Animal hospital. They’ve seen Doodle before infect he has an appointment next week. YES we get our dogs teeth clean every six months. Don’t laugh! In truth we are better at getting their teeth cleaned than our own.

Elliott Bay would see him but we had to drop him off. They would just have to work him in. So my stomach was in knots all day. I do realize dogs don’t live forever. I was asking myself how far and how much was I willing to pay if something major was wrong. To think I was this torn up and Doodle isn’t my favorite. What would I be like if it was Bentley?!!

I NEED A DRINK! I NEED A DRINK!!!

So a few hours later the doggy doc calls. Albert picks it up and I hold my breath. Guess what’s wrong with him? NOTHING!!! Well nothing that they could find anyways. Albert goes and picks him up and brings him home. Guess what happens when he gets him home. YUP starts having issues again!!! Wouldn’t know it we WOULD have the dog like the car that WONT start so you pay to have it towed to the shop. When it gets there it starts for the mechanic. Only for you to get it home again and it WON’T start. DON’T GIVE ME THAT! DON’T EVEN GIVE ME THAT!

Maybe he just needs an enema. Don’t laugh! You think I’m play’n. If that would cure the problem I’d do it. And of course when I say I, I mean Albert. Hey it’s cheaper than the vet. OOOH now I got you mommy. I got you (finger on my nose and then pointing out)

These are really my first dogs. It has been a great experiment. It has taught me how to love in a different way. At the same time I DON’T have kids for a reason! I’m NOT cut out for this.

So a day like I had is case in point why Bachelorette works. Well that and Whiskey. Better yet mindless TV with Whiskey. Thank you Dez for having a train wreck of a season. Do I think you choose the right guy? Maybe-e. Who are we kidding most likely not and statistically not. Oh well on to Juan Pablo.

~ARE WE ON THAT AGAIN?! 

~ARE WE ON THAT AGAIN?!

Ok so I told you how busy this suumer has been. Right. Whatever,it is what it is. So of couse I’ve been using Access (the short bus) more often. They are a blessing and a curse. I was at the wheelchair shop getting my brakes worked on with AG (little sis). Where we met a nice man and his care taker. Their Access bus was over an hour late picking them up. What’s worse is when they would call to get an eta Access treated them like they were dumb. They would say the bus would be there in 5 to 10 minutes every time they would call. But of couse it never come. I mean COME ON! We AIN’T stupid! Give us some respect! Just say you don’t know becasuse you don’t know!

Oh and another day there was an 11 year old handicap little girl on the bus when I got on. She was supposed to be dropped off at Summer Camp. She had been on the bus for OVER an hour past her drop of time. Why you ask. Because she was a little girl and couldn’t speak up for herself. So she was figuratively being push to the back of the bus. I wish she would understand enough so I could have got her parents number to call them. At any rate, YES I spoke up for her. The driver said he would drop her off after me because her school was in the opposite direction. I reluctantly got off the bus on my stop. I hope he made good on his word.

Ok so the other day I had a doctor’s appointment. Albee had a couple of conference calls that morning. No big’e right. I’m a BIG girl. I’ll take Access. I’ve NEVER had jerk driver since my second compliant. Ok what’s CRAY CRAY is jerk driver is still the only driver I’ve EVER had twice. CREEPY RIGHT! Any whooo, since then Access and I had been all good.

At this point I THOUGHT they knew who I be. Apparently they needed a re-fresher…

So I had made my appointment a few days prior to my appointment. Therefore the morning of I called Access dispatch to make sure I had the correct pick-up time. They informed me they were very busy and were sending a cab to take me instead of a bus. That’s new. That’s new. I’m cool with it. They gave me the cab company’s number. I was GOOD ta go.

Ok so Albee’s first conference call was at the same time as the beginning of my pick-up window. Not a worry. He helped me get outside right before his call. It was a bit early but all good. It was one of those crisp winter days where it’s NOT raining and the suns out. I LOVE those days! I was cool sitting and waiting for the taxi. I even lost track of time. Before I knew it fifteen minutes had past. So I called the number Access gave me to see where the cab was. They told me the driver would be there in five to ten minutes. That still works.

Side bar- I don’t know if I have ever explained how Access buses work. They give you an half an hour pick-up window. Ok BUT on top of that they typically give their drivers 45 minutes to get you anywhere. I was told they do it to account for traffic or any other problems that may arise. They wanna ensure you are at appointments on time. So the net net is it’s like an hour and some change process. Irritating? YES! There are days I want to SLIT my throat. Then there are day Access is a LIFE saver. So what cha gonna do?

Ten minutes came and left and still NO CAB. I called again and was given the same answer. Now when I called the first time I thought I detected an accent. My second call confirmed my suspicions. Ok I was really try’n not to assume anything. I just closed my eyes and said to myself grasping a DEEP breath, STAY calm Alley. Called Access and told them what was going with the taxi being late. So they called the cab company and called me back. GUESS what Access told me when they called me back. GUESS GUESS!!! They said the cab will be there in bout five to ten minutes! I about FELL out my chair my chair. I WAS FUMEING!!

OH I am NOT done! Ok. Ok. So GET this! I get off the phone with Access about ten MORE minutes roll by. YUP no taxi. I check the time. What time is it? I’ll tell you what time it is. 10 am STRAIGHT UP! It’s my appointment time. At that moment a non-descript, DIRTY, white van pulls up. The windows tented so dark you can’t see in. YES it was the non-descript van you ALWAYS here on the news people go missing in. The drivers STOPS in the middle of the street. Hollywood jumps out the van. You could tell he thought he was fly. As SOON as my eyes saw his nationality my head dropped down in my chest and arms to my side in defeat. Yes he was Ethiopian.

Ok as we’ve discussed I stereotype. BUT every culture has personality characteristics. Case in point I’m black and YES I have a BIG mouth and personality. So this dude steps out the van in his leather jacket, black turtle neck, gold chain around his neck and slacks. Nice? NO CREEPY! Remember he jumped out a dirty, white, broke down non-descript American made van. NO I’m not get’n in that van. It’s got Ted Bundy written all over it. Not to mention it’s my appointment time. So I told him thanks but NO thanks. He was like But I’m here now let’s go. Apparently I was inconveniencing him or maybe he got paid by the ride. Either way I wasn’t getting in that van. Oh and yes Access and I had words!!

You just DON’T treat people like that! Oh and YES I am going to find out who are the powers that be at Access and write a letter about all this. It really chaps my hide…I’M JUST SAY’N!

OK NOW!<

OK NOW!<strong>

So it’s been like 75 plus degree’s most of the days as of late in Sea town. We even had a stretch of 85 to 94 which is a little too hot for my blood. Call me a BIG BABY but I live in the PNW for a reason. I AIN’T afraid of rain. It’s crazy hot around the whole US of A these days. Yesterday it was 120 in Phoenix. That’s just STUPID! Death Valley was 134 on Friday! The hottest temp on the entire planet. AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!

We watched Soylent Green Saturday night with some friends. Classic Charleston Hesston. It came out in 1973 about the year 2021. Interestingly it was about a post-apocalyptic New YORK city. Global warming had JACKED the Earth. Of course it was fiction and NO one viewed it as more than entertainment. But it’s kinda crazy fast-forward to today 2013 it’s WICKED HOT in places (yes I used the word wicked). Farms don’t have water; crops and live-stock are dying. 2021 is nine years away. I’m just say’n. It’s might not be a cheese-e movie after all….just remember don’t eat the green stuff.
Ok so I know it’s been a minute. I was sick and in OT (Occupational Therapy) boot camp at UW. Yes I said UW. I know I talked about that place like it has a tail. OH and it does have a tail. DON’T GET IT TWISTED! I wouldn’t want to be an inpatient there again. If it was the only hospital in the city and I had a gunshot wound I MIGHT opt to bleed out on the street. You think I’M play’n.

Since my operation in 09 I haven’t seen any of their therapy people. I decided to do a touch back series. A touch back is where they pull out Data tak’n right after injury or surgery. See where you were and compare it to where you are now. I like it because they get down and dirty. If your fat they will let you know your fat. Then they will tell you how it is and wil effect your disease long term. I’m not over weight but don’t stretch or workout enough. So they wanted me to start coming there twice a week for a month. So I’ve been doing that in addition to Pushing Boundaries once a week, working and various other appointments. You know a girl STILL gots-sta to get her hair did.
Busy doesn’t even begin to touch what I’ve been.

As Americans we like everything sugar coded. IF we get yearly physicals we only want surface answers. That’s how Governor Christie thought he was healthy at his weight. WHAAT?!! No he wasn’t gonna die tomorrow. Dancing at his daughter’s wedding. Questionable. It’s the same with people that say they don’t eat like they should but I’m healthy. YHELLO that’s an oxymoron! Once again NO you’re not going to die today. But you also not going to have your picture shone on Today shows people over a hundred. Everything we do or don’t do eventually catches up to us!

I think doctors should do the percentages thang they do with babies with adults. Maybe things would click with us better. Unlike with babies who wants to be in the top percent of anything? It would NOT be a good day if your doc said you’re in the top percentage of obesity or poor eating habits for your age group. Who wants to know that? It would be embarrassing but accurate. No one wants to be the worse of your peers. But I bet we would be quicker about get’n in gear. I’m just say’n… Touch backs not just for the handi-capables..for everyone. How U do’N?

~Coffee with the Big Kids

~Coffee with the Big Kids
So Saturday morning owe about 11 am I was at the watering whole with the BIG KIDS. Yes Starbucks! I do live in Seattle. Once everyone trickled in we were nine in number. Six of the nine were over 60. Oldest coming in at 86. At times there were up to four little conversations going on at once. At times the group would come together in one united discussion. Oh and of course SOME form of caffeine in every cup. BEAUTIFUL.

In one of those departures from group conversation I found myself talking to a big kid. I was asking her about friends we shared in common that had since moved away. While she had talked to them recently she couldn’t quite remember the particulars. She attempted to grasp the recent memory of her conversation with them. Then she shrugged her shoulders, took a swig of her drink and said Alzheimer’s disease. I smiled and chuckled figuring she was making a joke. She giggled too. Then she ever so gently touched my arm and said seriously. I still thought she was being her joking self. But she continued talking.
She told me her mother had Alzheimer disease. And I..I knew that. It just took me back. I wasn’t expecting those words out of her mouth. I felt like I had just miss judged a hell Mary pass from Russell down field. Instead of catching the ball, I took a shot to the head. I asked if she was diagnosed? She patted my hand and said no but she knew what it looked like. Her Mom had and did all the same things. They just didn’t know what it was. Oh well she said, what you gonna do about it.

I felt compelled to tell her my truth. The MS is starting to bother my left hand. It’s getting hard to straighten my fingers. It was the first time I said that out loud to a non-family member or a doctor. As the words slide off my lip I felt lighter. She pulled my head sideways into hers and said, but we aren’t ones to cry. We don’t feel sorry for ourselves. With her words the conversation got weightless again. She spoke our truth. I almost forgot for a second. Our disease DOESN’T design our realities we do.

I looked around our little group everyone was smiling, talking and laughing. You’d never know it was a group various health issues of type one diabetes, bursitis, MS, Fibromyalgia, bad knees and etc. The BIG kids have grace. They sip there coffee and enjoy every mouth full. I’m not saying they don’t have fear or anxiety. They just don’t let it run their life. I mean WHY ruin a good cup of coffee?

We didn’t talk about Alzheimer’s or MS progression again. We talked about Alaska and my upcoming trip to Spain. Yes friends you heard me right SPAIN. I’ve never been to Europe. An old friend is getting married and she asked Albee to marry them. I was scared to go at first. Europe as a whole isn’t an accessible place. However, my sister-in-law read Barcelona is a very assessable city. What is holding back but me? There was such peace among the group. Why worry about tomorrow today? They knew what lie ahead them but it didn’t allow it to take away from today.

It’s funny I got a text from a newly diagnosed friend. She’s in her twenties no health insurance. So MS came at a shock. She sent me a website that she thought was cool. I checked it out. It was all about beating MS with diet and supplements. RAINBOWS & SUNSHINE JUNK! I’m not say’n diet or supplements don’t help. Heck I lay in a hyperbaric chamber as often as I can. But when people throw around the word “cure” that’s WRONG. Worse is when people are nieve and believe it. Then they have unrealistic expectations. When things progress they are dashed to pieces. Balance is needed. You can’t out run time and disease often rides its coat tells.

The BIG kids don’t fall for that one. They aren’t trying to change the direction of the tide. Health Insurance is just a part of life. Use it when you need it don’t when you don’t. Just slow down life is only as serious as you make it.

Think I’m going to make it my mantra “Live Like a BIG kid”. Except unavoidable truths, time and tide stop for no one. Diseases may come. Doesn’t mean you did something wrong. Acknowledge them, respect them and other hardships. Yet, don’t be ruled by them. Sit down when your knees hurt. Walk when they don’t. Travel when you can. You never know when you no longer can’t. Oh yea sip your coffee while it’s still hot …I’m just say’n…

~A trip of a LIFE TIME!

~A trip of a LIFE TIME!

WOW! Alaska was an ADVENTURE of a life time. I really can’t believe it took me until I’m 40 to take the trip. The approximate 2000 international head count on the boat felt the same. When I say international I mean IT! We met people from Deli to New Zealand and mainland China. That in itself was half of the adventure. We met a simply GORGEOUS family from Puerto Rico. The mother of two boys talked about how she’d read and seen pictures of Alaska for years and couldn’t believe she was actually there. I realized I had WRONGFULLY took Alaska for granted.

I mean for YEARS now I’ve watched the Alaska bound cruise ships out my living room window RATHER non-chalantly. Albey and I could walk to the cruise terminal from our condo. I mean if I COULD walk (finger out gun style point click with-a WINK). Who knew Alaska was a hot ticket for people around the world?

I’ll tell you what though, after a day in Glacier Bay I’m a believer. I DON’T know what took me so long to go. I think I just thought I’d seen snow, seen mountains, seen snowcapped mountains before. Alaska Malaska! What’s the big deal with Alaska? Nope..Nope. I was wrong. It’s a BIG deal. So at 40 I’m not old but I’m not young either. I’ve never seen a place where no one has been to. I mean not in this country. There is a road you can drive on through the desert part of this country. You can ride a mule down the Grand Canyon. But Alaska?! There are no air ports or roads to Glacier Bay.

There is however a mountainous channel. It’s CRAZY! Here it was we were on this HUGE cruise ship, right?! It was dwarfed by seemingly endless mountain ranges lining both shores. Ok. OK. I’m still trying to process the experience. Mind you, the ship was at sea level. The mountains shot straight up out the water. If you were to jump out the boat and swim ashore you would get the shock of your life. There was no shore to be had. You would stop when your forehead hit the mountain. Then you need to start climbing a mountain immediately. Not a hill. A mountain. These ranges ran between 5,000 to 14,000 feet. Oh yeah almost forgot. Said mountains were covered with snow and ice. Oh and the channel? Y-e-a-h it was 5000 feet deep.

Then the channel dead ends at a HUGE glacier. As you get closer to it you begin to see icebergs in the water. Now this is a guided tour. Along the way three Forrest Rangers board the ship. They are on the ships intercom giving you facts, telling you were to look and so on. When we arrived at the glacier he excitedly told us bundle up, grab your cameras and meet the Rangers on deck. I felt like a kid at Disney Land for the first time. Heart beating fast, quickly putting on my coat, doesn’t know what to expect but you know it’s going to be good. As soon as you step on deck you know you not in Kansas anymore. Willikers it was cold. And you know GIRL HATES being cold! I didn’t even bat an eye.

Once we were at the front deck it was like BAM it was right there. In spots the ice was actually BLUE. It was like a sista was looking at Superman’s Arctic hang-out. I was TRIP’N. Oh and it wasn’t just the sight. I learned a new word, calving. Calving is when pieces of ice break of the glacier and fall into the water creating icebergs. The sound it makes is called white thunder. It’s deafening like thunder and happens expectantly.

We were fortunate enough that it happed a few times while we were there. If your eyes were quick enough to follow the sound you would actually see a large section of ice break off and fall into the water. That whole area is untouched by man. It doesn’t need to dare man to try to get its oil, gold and rare gems. All of which it has. Man is irrelevant to the area. It stands fortified, luxurious and strong. The only thing man can do is marvel at its beauty. The ship was abuzz after the glacier. People you didn’t know would stop and talk to you. 2000 strangers became a small village. We had just experienced mind bending beauty and power.

The next day we docked in Ketchikan. We went ashore for a tour. Our tour guide was a Klincet tribesman. Ok so at the get go he told us we could see bears on the tour. We stopped at a place to take pictures and low and be hold there was a BEAR! Now I was on the tour bus watching this unfold. At first I see a man pull his camera away from his face obviously not believing what he sees. Then he gestures to people to come to him. A GRIP of people descend on him snap’n pics like paparazzi! I couldn’t see the black bear but heard the people yelling BEAR! Next I heard and saw a tour guide yelling, running, waving his arms attempting to wrangle the crowd in. Apparently they forgot they were in Alaska not their city zoo. There is NO protective fence between you and him. I don’t care how close the tour bus is you’re NOT going to out run a bear.

On second thought, you don’t have to out run a bear. NO not at all. You just gotta be able to run faster than the tourist next to you.

Lastly, I would like to take a second to talk about “Washy Washy Happy Happy”. When we boarded the cruise in Seattle we were greeted by this cute, petite Asian woman. She held a spray bottle and motioned towards your hands smiling and nodding her head saying, “Washy Washy Happy Happy” as she sprayed. This ritual was repeated every time you got off the ship for port and back on. Oh and ambush “Washy Washy Happy Happy”. We would round a corner on the boat and THERE she was “Washy Washy Happy Happy”. It was always a cute little Asian lady that seemed to speak little English. Keep in mind she said “Washy Washy Happy Happy” to every person as she sprayed their hands. You never knew exactly where she’d POP UP! I have to admit it got to be a little creepizoid!
Ok but the best..the ABSOLUTE best was Ketchikan reentry. We enter the boat from port to a tall, 30 to 40, black man 6 feet plus all grin saying, “Happy Happy Washy Washy”.

Honestly none of had a CLUE of what was being sprayed on us. I just figured it was Norwegians attempt to steer clear of mass illness you hear about on cruises.

Most of you know I believe in God. The whole experience humbled me to his power and beauty. I really don’t know of another place I’ve been in wonder of him. In this modern world I’ve never been to a place where no one is looking at their cell phones, iPads, lap tops etc. You couldn’t! Yeah Alaska is the US but even in port a signal was very hit and miss. The Verizon dude probably is like, yeah you can’t hear me now and I don’t care. I’m not dealing with no snowcapped mountain. It was cool! A table in the game room was a hot commodity.
I really could go on forever about the experience because it was an experience. Alaska you ALL-ITE. WE COOL. WE COOL. I’m just say’n…

Alaska here we come!

~Alaska here we come!

Ok so we leave today on a seven day Norwegian cruise to Alaska. Am I ready? NO! But more importantly I don’t know if Alaska is ready for what I’m brining. Seriously though, packing Is kinda a NIGHTMARE. Nic text us a link to a site that tells you to dress in layers. That’s great and all but it’s seven days of morning, noon and night with like hum-tent-th strangers. I’m not gonna like KICK-IT in my sweats in the eve’nan. Sista gotta be on POINT like 15/7!

I mean I’m packing pants, turtle necks, long John bottoms, cardigans and ribbed sweaters. Oh and there’s a gym on the ship. So I’m also packing gym clothes. Along with the reg toiletries and und-es. It’s a lot to do.
But at last it is DONE. I’m relaxed talking to you cup of Folgers in my hand, new Justin T. serenading my ears. NO turn’n back now. What’s packed is packed and what isn’t just ISN’T!

I keep having to remind myself we will be in America so I can pick stuff up in port if I forgot something. It’s just a new place for us. Although I’m hopeing to get a glance of Russia. Sarah said it’s visible from Alaska…just say’n

Are right time to put it in HIGH GEAR! Catch ya on the flip! BON voyage !

~Like Ice said, “today was a good DAY!”

~Like Ice said, “today was a good DAY!”

So I wake up this morning and it was raining. BIG whoop right I live in Seattle. Yeah, but yesterday was GORGEOUS! One of those days where you’re like, YES that’s why I live here! Then you wake up the next day to rain and feel bamboozled…

Here’s what’s funny though, yesterday was not that great of a day. I was crazy busy. With my work, hyperbaric, company and dinner with a close friend. I didn’t even have time to put on make-up. Back in da day I would NEVER be caught dead leaving the house without make-up. Then I turned 40! Now I’m like WHAT WHAAAT! Take it or leave it. If I’m running late it’s the thing to go BRO.

But today, today is a good day! Works is slow and I AIN’T made at it. Not one bit. Sade is smoothly singing in the background, like she do. The trees are brushling out my window to a stiff breeze. The Olympic Mountains are still snowcapped and majestically sleeping across sound. I’m sit’n here Forza coffee in my cup. Yes I said Forza NOT Forgers. Not Starbucks! Sorry Matt It has that bitter beer taste. However, I will partake in a pinch. Wink.. Wink!
So, I had a great workout with Popeye at the gym. MAN that dude is strong! We did those sit to stands today WITHOUT the Hulk! I know RIGHT! YES, him seated on a stool in front of a four legged walker that is facing me. Popeye with each hand holding a weight belt I sit on. He pulls the belt towards his chest forcing my body into a standing position. While I attempt to push my bent arms straight down on the walker, too straighten them. What’s HOT is I’ve gained enough strength to do this exercise with JUST the two of us. I’m starting to see the fruit of my efforts. We did a three month assessment of my progress at the gym. I have improved in every category. I know they AIN’T blow’n sunshine my direction! You get nothing for free at Pushing B. I LOVE IT! Oh and Popeye? He’s my dude. He ALL-ITE! He ALL-ITE.

I earned my John Jacob Whisky/pineapple neat(one ice cube) tonight! After my workout I talked to this guy in a cool wheelchair. To hear to handi’s talk’n about their chairs is like hearing men talk about cars. What kind of frame you got? Oh this? It’s the new Qi. It’s sweet! Yeah it’s the lightest chair on the market. WHAAT?! Yeah it’s made out of meteor rock.

I’m not even kidding he said meteor rock. I just smiled and nodded. But for real though meteor? Come on America is what our youth think? I know I can’t spell. At least I know we can’t harvest meteor’s from space and make things out of it. lol

Today was one of those days when I put my hands up and the ceiling COULDN’T hold me… Today was a good day.
…..

~ON SECOND THOUGHT!

~ON SECOND THOUGHT!

So you’re not going to believe this. One of Albee’s co-worker/friend reads my blog. After he read about me being sick he thought he’d Google CIPRO and Tizanadine. GUESS WHAT?!! It POPS up immediately there’s a negative drug reaction between the two. OK that’s just RIDICULOUS that the average Joe can figure that out. Yet the pharmacist that went to college for this stuff couldn’t. COME ON! I mean REALLY Mr. Pharmacist?
I WAS giving my Pharmacist slack and not pursuing things further. I thought maybe it was a complicated system and that why it was missed. But if oh Boy could simply u-google(Zoolander style) the two drugs and find out you can’t take them together that’s SHAMEFUL!! I mean that’s how people DIE! I’m fortunate I just got deathly ill. But I’m still not completely back to where I was before. MAD Up’s to T Dog in the Twin. Next time I’m in the Twin, drinks on me. His finding has lite a FIRE in my belly. I think a sister needs some reparations! REPARATIONS I tell you!

(side) I DON’T know when I’ll be in the Twin cities. ESPECIALLY seeing that it’s May 7th and they still have snow! WHAATS THAT?! I think Mother Nature is like I’m reclaiming the space. She’s like, humans here’s your 30 day vacate notice. Oh and if you all don’t leave I can’t be held accountable. Tried to warn ya. TRIED TO WARN YA! Humans be so HARD HEADED!I called my friend that’s a Paralegal. I wanted to see if I had a case since I didn’t die. Someone was DAILING it in and not doing their job in the pharmacy. She told me to call Fred Myers corporate and talk to legal. Yeah the cat’s out the bag. Fred Meyers screwed the pooch.

(Side note) Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?

That’s right friends I’m putting the Ballard Freddie’s of Leary on BLAST!

Yes a corporate call was made (Stephanie if it was you, you in trouble now GIRL!). Ok so I told my experience to Mr. Man in colorless vernacular. He was VERY apologetic. He took the information and said there would be an investigation. He said someone would be calling me. Sure enough a woman did call. She reviewed what had happened to me. What’s SCARY is she ended the conversation telling me an adjuster would be calling me. YOU mean to tell ME this sorta thing happens often enough YOU gotta an ADJUSTER on payroll. And like that my belief in the system fell to pieces like a lopsided cheerleader pyramid.

It’s not about money. It’s about SECURITY. Do I change pharmacist? How do I know this won’t happen at a new place? That’s just it you DON’T know. I kinda figure I’m stay’n put for the moment. You KNOW corporate they’re BUTTS on NOTICE!!! RED ink is all up in that stores file! They all probably know my name now. This is probably the SAFEST place I could be.

It’s been a week since old girl from corporate called me. If I don’t hear from the adjuster in a day or two, I’ll BE on the phone again! You CAN write a check on that!

Sad thing how do you put a price tag on innocence lost? I’m just say’n…