~I don’t even no where to start!

~I don’t even no where to start!

So last night I started a blog entry about the INSANITY of the Batchlorett! I mean in a SANE mind 25 men or woman dating ONE man or woman makes NO since. 10 or so years ago when whomever pitched the idea to the networks they laughed them out of their building. Perhaps the idea came up in a brainstorming session at ABC. I’m sure initially they MUST have questioned if it would work. Anyways a normal night. Right, whatever. Went to bed got up went about my business as normal. Left the house around 9:00 with a friend. No big whoop. I get home around noon to Albert say’n we need to keep an eye on Doodle.

I’ve never talked about my fur kids. I have two toy Poodles. The oldest Bentley is five and Doodle is four. Yes we named him Doodle the Poodle! Our rhyme for him goes a little something like this…Doodle noodle the brown and yellow Poodle. Y-E-A-H now that I see it written down it’s not really a rhyme(STOP rolling your eyes AG). I love my dogs, I really DO! One more than the other, like every parent. People who say they love there children the same are lying! Well lying or their kids are to young to have fully developed personalities and opinions. True we love them all we just like some or one more.

When our pups were young they didn’t have a parental preference. Early on they were just learning the basics. You know where to potty and where and when not to potty. Bentley being the smarter of the (my dog) mastered the basics in no time. Doodle not so much. Let’s just say his name fits him.

Anyways ask Albee why are we watching him? He answers with a rather pregnant W-E-L-L with a slight tilt to his head. He is shaking, tail tucked between his legs with a strange tilt to his head. On top of that when he tried touching behind his ear he whence and whined in pain. All the while he is telling me this Doodle is in his arms. When he puts him on the floor sure enough everything he says is true. I’m immediately am a pull of butter on the floor.

I call their Naturopathic Vet but of course she can’t get him in last minute. However she say’s we should definitely have him seen. NO DUH LADY!
•(side bar)Before you judge me about the naturopathic vet consider I was born in 72 my mother wasn’t quite a hippie. At the same time she WOULD open capsules of herbal supplements in a teaspoon of honey and feed it to us. As if the honey hid the taste of the herbs. PLEASE It taste like I had taken a bite of the backyard. Oh and what about the enemas. I still have nightmares of being 4 or 5 and my Mom with help from a friend. Friend held me down on the bathroom floor while mom administered the “healthy” mixture. Once applied my mother lovingly held my little butt cheeks together telling me hold it honey.

So we live down the street from Elliott Bay Animal hospital. They’ve seen Doodle before infect he has an appointment next week. YES we get our dogs teeth clean every six months. Don’t laugh! In truth we are better at getting their teeth cleaned than our own.

Elliott Bay would see him but we had to drop him off. They would just have to work him in. So my stomach was in knots all day. I do realize dogs don’t live forever. I was asking myself how far and how much was I willing to pay if something major was wrong. To think I was this torn up and Doodle isn’t my favorite. What would I be like if it was Bentley?!!

I NEED A DRINK! I NEED A DRINK!!!

So a few hours later the doggy doc calls. Albert picks it up and I hold my breath. Guess what’s wrong with him? NOTHING!!! Well nothing that they could find anyways. Albert goes and picks him up and brings him home. Guess what happens when he gets him home. YUP starts having issues again!!! Wouldn’t know it we WOULD have the dog like the car that WONT start so you pay to have it towed to the shop. When it gets there it starts for the mechanic. Only for you to get it home again and it WON’T start. DON’T GIVE ME THAT! DON’T EVEN GIVE ME THAT!

Maybe he just needs an enema. Don’t laugh! You think I’m play’n. If that would cure the problem I’d do it. And of course when I say I, I mean Albert. Hey it’s cheaper than the vet. OOOH now I got you mommy. I got you (finger on my nose and then pointing out)

These are really my first dogs. It has been a great experiment. It has taught me how to love in a different way. At the same time I DON’T have kids for a reason! I’m NOT cut out for this.

So a day like I had is case in point why Bachelorette works. Well that and Whiskey. Better yet mindless TV with Whiskey. Thank you Dez for having a train wreck of a season. Do I think you choose the right guy? Maybe-e. Who are we kidding most likely not and statistically not. Oh well on to Juan Pablo.

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2 thoughts on “~I don’t even no where to start!

  1. C. Walker says:

    Sorry to let you know my dear daugther I never gave you a enema, what you remember is putting a suppository in you because you were sick and could not eat anything. And it was from your Pediatrican Dorctor Gorlick not a nathopath. Of this was from your memory as a small kid, so it may felt like a enema????? It’s all good now you survive it all, but if you want to know some of the natural treatments I did try on you and your brother, just let me know. You will get a good laugh.

    Love Mom

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