So it has been many tomorrows since we’ve last spoke. And yes the sun came up on every one of them. I’ll tell you what though I’ve been so ill I wished it didn’t. I wanted to go to sleep and be done with it. But NO that Red headed child in the red dress was RIGHT! I knew I hated that orphan for some reason. Lately life has been a HOT mess! I found out I have a RAGE’n UTI. Yes a Urinary Tract Infection. AARGH! I can’t remember when the last time I had one of these puppies.
I know you are probably thinking, you have MS you’re like, sick all the time. Right? Yeah NO. I’m not shivering, sneezing, or have body aches. I don’t even have daily headaches. My Neurologist Doc even told me once people with MS rarely get sick. We even hardly ever get the flu. It’s because of the nature of the disease. The quick definition of MS is the immune system is so over active it attacks your nervous system. Therefore a bi-product is your immune system is HYPER active. As she’s telling me this I’m think’n Doc do you realize your giving license not to get a Flu shot LIKE ever again? Even with that said the UTI was too much for it.
Worse yet my Doc for my Lady bitz is an OVER sharer. A couple of days after my appointment she calls me. She tells me part of the lab results came back. While yes I have a UTI there is a negative rod in my sample that hasn’t been id yet. So we will start you on one antibiotic for the identified bacteria. We really need to know what the negative rod is to know what to do. Then she signs of with I’ll call you later today when I know more. She was of the phone before I could say BOO. Really WHAT just happened? Did she just say I have a negative rod?
WHAT on God’s green earth is a NEGATIVE ROD??!!!
Who ends a conversation hanging up with a statement like that? Oh and on a Friday! NICE Doc. Real NICE! Albee knows me all too well. He looks at me and with a stern face. Now don’t let your mind run away. I’m thinking to LATE mind is already down the street. The negative rod is cancer. He could tell what I was thinking by vacant stare. He continued putting logic to the situation to reel me in. If it was life threating she would have to you to come in immediately or go to the hospital. I knew he was right. I just needed to hear someone to say what he said.
You know she could have just said your culture isn’t back yet. I did NOT need to know about unidentified negative rod. COME ON! So she did call back Friday afternoon (yes she is a Doc that is true to their word and actually calls). She still didn’t know what the negative rod was. But after consulting with my MS Doc they thought it best to put me on a second antibiotic. A broad spectrum one. Basically they were throwing everything including the kitchen sink. In hope a hurling knife would take it out.
Little did I know my decent into the abyss had just began…
It is time for linear time line. Friday afternoon the doc calls in the second prescription. I start the new med Saturday morning. I’m supposed to take it twice a day like the other one. Now I’m no rookie when it comes to pills. My record stands at taking seven pills at once. However the antibiotic numeral uno already made me a little wonky. So I didn’t want to take the second one with the first in case it did the same. NO need to compound the issue. At lunch I took the new antibiotic. I start to feel a little icky but hey I’m sick that’s to be expected, right. Another original pill that afternoon and new pill at diner. Bed time I took my normal MS drugs. Sunday morning I got up, took a shower, and started a new day. The sun was out like Annie said it would be. I ate breakfast and took my new antibiotic. About an hour and a half later the sun went dark. For the next week or so I swear the sun never came out again.
My body already wasn’t happy with the infection. The MS was like this is MY house son. WHO you think you is? Common all up in here act’n CRA CRA! It was not gracious at ALL. It started fighting back. No pain. But I felt like 1000 ants were crawling all over my face , I was tingling so bad. Oh and stiff as a board. Head ache so bad you’d think it was audition’N to be a migraine. On top of THAT the Forman running MY gut was try’n to vetoing the second antibiotic. He kept try’n to reverse the gears. My body was the Atlanta version of Bravo’s Housewives. A HOT MESS!
By Monday morning I laid in bed questioning life. So I did what any other self-respecting 40 black woman would do. I called my Mommy. So my Mommy lives a good hour south of Seattle. I called around 9 ish. By noon she was on my door step. Her trusted stead brought her (Dad).
Now remember she is a black mommy. She is bout her business. Soon as her coats off, a quick kiss and squeeze as the back of her hand is on my cheek, fore head and other cheek. At the same time she’s firing questions. Whens the last time you ate? What did you eat? Where’s your thermometer? What’s your sick number? One thru ten, where you at baby. I muddle through the inquiry. She’s heard enough! The game plan is a foot. CW is on the case. I feel like my gut is a hive full of bees and someone just shook it. The bees are angry!
Instead of a carpet bag like Ms. Poppins she reaches in a cloth grocery bag. (Oh but is bottom less like Mary’s) She pulls out her first remedy…Saltine crackers. Open’s the sleeve and firmly say’s eat this presenting me a cracker. There is NO room for questions. I just eat the cracker. Then she tells me I need to eat so she’s making me soup. Back to the grocery bag she goes. I don’t see what she pulls out this time but have a hunch. As she walks into the kitchen she tells me to eat another cracker.
Shortly she returns from the kitchen and sets me up bowl of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup and other goodies. The bowl is places in front of me, cranberry juice at 11 o’clock, water one o’clock and ginger ale two thirty. Oh and yes the cranberry juice and ginger ale were from Mommies bag.
Then she sat down at the table across from me. Once firmly seated pulled out her iPhone, Nook and grabbed my antibiotics and did research. Before she begins searching she gets in an Allison you need to eat this. Over the four day’s she was with us I couldn’t tell you how many times I heard that statement. Secretly I loved to hear it. It was so comforting and familiar but I do think it belongs on her epitaph. Being on two antibiotics is a list longer than your leg (forget your arm) of possible side effects and counteractions. Why don’t they just write on the bottle for the next ten days you’re screwed! I couldn’t even have caffeine. Ten days of no Folgers. Might have well been a LIFE sentence. Even if I could have had coffee I can’t half dairy so NO vanilla creamer. What’s coffee without cream?
My only saving grace sitting on the other side of the table. Albert and I couldn’t have done it without her. He had to work. Mommy was calling all plays for me. Allison you need to eat this or you need to drink this. She would just look at my face or put the back of the hand to my head and cheeks and make a play. I felt like I was five and we were back on 914 South Point View ST in L.A. My little arms bent, elbows on table, head bent forward resting on my fist.
I was in the shower and a hand pulls back the curtain and a head pops in. I know you’re thinking a scene from Psycho. NOPE. Just Mommy check’n to see if I needed a cracker. You know what? Yes I did need a cracker. Crackers are deceptively useful little guys. I always thought of them as a poor man’s cracker. Who knew they worked on sour stomachs. Albert was like duh Allison they draw up stomach acid. You know how they make your mouth dry if you eat’em alone. I was like if you’re SO smart why didn’t you tell me to eat’em. Shut up know it all.
I had already had an appointment scheduled with my Neurologist Monday afternoon. It turned out to be perfect timing. She took me off of CIPRO. That antibiotic was making me the sickest. Did you know they use that drug for people infected with Anthrax! It’s no joke. Was it really necessary for a UTI?? Oh and she told me what a negative rod is. Pee of course is sterile. So when bacteria enter the sterile environment of the bladder it’s a negative rod. With that I have a tip for my over sharing doc. I already have one incurable disease. If it’s NOT serious keep it to yourself! AIN’T nobody got time for that! Just give me my TWO cookies and DON’T call me in the morning.
So Thursday came and Mom had to leave. Her steed was at the ready. He arrived tall, strong and reliable. Mommy wasn’t rushing out when he arrived. She wanted to get me through the better part of the day. She told me she wasn’t worried about no Seattle five o’clock traffic. She needed to make sure her baby was ok before she leaves. But the time did come soon enough for her to leave. With a quick back of her hand check of my cheek, fore head, other cheek and a wet kiss on my cheek she was gone. She left behind a can of soup and ginger ale with a sticky note that read Albert she needs to eat this…
I love you Mommy