So the surgical procedure for my Trigeminal Neuralgia is tomorrow. I should feel over joyed. I am happy. But why is it you have to sign all these releases. Are they so unsure they can do this procedure? Nothing like having a nurse verbally telling you the fine print and handing you a pen. Now I know why the pre-op is at 2pm and the anesthesia consult is at 5pm in a different location. It’s enough time to have a drink before the next appointment.
Now yes I’ve had this basic procedure before. What I haven’t had is a larger needle going deeper. I’ll be under general anesthesia. But it IS what it IS. NO use CRY’N before the milk has been SPILT!
So Albee and I foolishly thought we would have time to go home in between appointments. Yeah we could go home but back to the U district. I DON’T know what we were SMOKE’N? So where do Seattle-ites go to kill time? STARBUCKS! Why Bucks and not another coffee shop you ask? Allow me to clear my throat and tell you about Shultz. He followed the all mighty Mac D’s play book. His coffee shops are clean, always ADA compliant bathrooms, decent music and Cake Pops.
Albert sunk into a brown leather chair and I rolled in next to him. He pulled out his Droid and checked work out. In the leather chair next to him was a woman do’n something on her iPad. Next to her an older woman sitting Indian style reading a book. In the next seat an Asian woman. In walk two Latin men in construction attire. All of us in our own worlds. But we collide at coffee. Thanks Howie!
I looked out the large picture window. I’ve been swept up in a tornado of pain. Hadn’t realized fall fell. It was beautiful. The golden leaves were everywhere. The evergreens still well green. Then a TRIFECTA of NEGRONESS walked by. One braided, one nap-a-fied and lastly silk scarf wrapped one. Let me break this MESS down for you. Sista in braids NO explanation needed. Nappy girl was an uncombed medium fro with a slightly longer Snooky poof on top. Ok she actually would have picked the top of her hair out and smoothed it into the Snooky poof. WHY? WHY? Scarf girl is not to be confused with Muslim head wraps. It is your grandma’s satin scarf. NORMALY we wrap our hair at night and sleep in it (EVEN Michelle Obama wraps at night). What’s WORSE it looked like she didn’t rewrap when she woke up. Just ROLLED out of bed and joined society like WHAT! YES they were talk’n LOUD and RUBBER NECK’N! YOU know the scene.
Friends this wasn’t on MLK drive. It was EASTLAKE! EASTLAKE PEOPLE!
Maybe three hot seconds later an Asian dude jogs by. Ok WHY didhe have NO shirt and low riding shorts on?! It’s November! Personally I prefer yellow tail on a bed of rice at Sam’s Sushi. I’m just say’n…
It’s NOT in every big city you get to see all that in LESS than an hour. Oh and sitting in the same seat! If you were born here you don’t realize how unique the P to the N to the W is. When I go back to LA to visit, or to NYC, I’m so disappointed with the separation racially and economically. There it’s CRAYOLA CITY. All the greens over there and purples back there.
Then off to the second appointment. The anesthesiologist was an ODD DUCK to put it mildly! Albee sat behind me in the examine room. Afterwards he said, watching the two of us communicate was a HOT MESS! It was like watching Dennis Rodmanin DRAG and Woody Allen talking. As I’m EXTRAVERTED he was INTRAVERTEDLY AWKARD. To top it he slightly MUMBLES and didn’t always COMPLETE his train of thought. Like he asks me can you brush your hair? Y-e-s I can. I have NO idea where he is coming or going (head scratch). Next he asks can you climb a flight of stairs without getting out of breath? ARE YOU KIDING ME?! DUDE, you’re LOOK’N at my chart. I have MS. You watched me roll in here.
Finally I REALIZED he wanted to know something about my lungs. Like how quickly I get winded. Am I in shape. AYEEE!
The BEST part was when doc told me I couldn’t shave 48 hours before surgery. I replied can I sugar? Albert had to CLUTCH his Starbucks! He told me in that moment he thought she DIDN’T just ask that! Hey it AIN’T my fault if NERD boy AIN’T up on the new. Doc had no clue. He just tilted his head like a confused dog does and asked “sugaring?”
GOOD TIMES! We laughed in the car all the way home. Hink of me in the AM TOMORROW. I’ll catch ya on the FLIP!!