Monthly Archives: November 2012

On Theflip

~On the flip

ow are you doing is such an interesting question.  Since my surgery last Tuesday I’ve been asked that.  Truth is I don’t really know the answer.  I appreciate the question.  I really do.  Albee say’s I OVER THINK everything.  He’s right I do.  In my DEFENCE, in this instance there is a lot to consider.  A little over a month ago I had a similar procedure.  RECALL, I was feeling like I was Rihanna’s song “Only Girl in The World.  I was all LOUD and PROUD!  I was CUT’N back on pills.  You COULDN’T tell me NUTH’N! NUTH’N!  Then before you could say BOO another area of my Trigeminal nerve POP’D OFF.  So you can see why I’m a little bit shy about giving the ALL CLEAR just yet.

I’ve decided I’d rather have a disease over a quote unquote condition.  At LEAST a disease has a prodigal.  Let’s say you have I don’t know HIV, we know that one.  If it turns to FULL BLOWN Aids you gonna die.   It starts with debilitating symptoms like circulation problems, easily bruesing, decreased alertness and more.  We’ve seen the pictures.  Unfortunately it is all the same here or Africa.

A condition is CRAZY!  Nobody seems to know what’z it’s gonna do.  It can go dormant just as quickly as lighting a FIRE.  So surgery wise it went GOOD.  The right side of my mouth is numb. My face is sporadically numb from my chin up to my tempo.  It’s WEIRD!  I KEEP bite’n the right side of my tongue, cheek and lip.  It’s sooo STRANGE!  I will CHOMP down on what I think is food.  Only problem is it has NO taste and the WRONG consistency.  Then I later look in the mirror.  YuP!  I tried to eat me.

Albee said my DOC “KICKED THE TIRES AND LITE THE FIRES”.  I don’t know that one.  I do know DOC wasn’t PLAY’N he put his FOOT IN IT!  That side of my face feels like how Shrek looks.  When I look in the mirror it’s my normal face I see.  Yet Ii feels like an OVERSIZED, DISTORTED, GREEN thing.    It’s odd but BETTER than pain!  Oh but wanna hear the STRANGEST part?!  Everything taste salty on that side of my tongue.  I can feel putting on lip gloss on part of my lip.  The other side feels like I’m put’n it ona STRANGER!

They called to check on me post procedure.  I asked them about all of this.  Ok, guess their answer…

Well Allison it’s hard to know with “conditions” like these.  Hopefully your taste bug problem will be temporary.  Some numbness is expected.  That is how you receive pain relief.  You will learn how to navigate eating around it.  I wonder about the high dose of pills I’m on.  When can I cut back on them?  The TRUE taste if the operation worked for the time being.  Their reply was they don’t know the answer to that question.  They were the surgery staff.  I would have to talk to my pain doc for that.  In other words GLAD you didn’t die on our watch!  HOPE some of the spegetti we threw on the wall STICKS!

I guess I’m cool with that.  FUNNY!  Not that I have a choice.   But I can work with it!  The lighting strikes of pain have deceased for now.  I know it’s a condition.  It tis what it is and will be what it will be….

We leave for Cabo Monday for a week.   We will get some much needed R and R.   Holla at ya when we get back!

~A FRESH Breath of SEATTLE AIR

So the surgical procedure for my Trigeminal Neuralgia is tomorrow.  I should feel over joyed.  I am happy.  But why is it you have to sign all these releases.  Are they so unsure they can do this procedure?  Nothing like having a nurse verbally telling you the fine print and handing you a pen.  Now I know why the pre-op is at 2pm and the anesthesia consult is at 5pm in a different location.  It’s enough time to have a drink before the next appointment.

Now yes I’ve had this basic procedure before. What I haven’t had is a larger needle going deeper.  I’ll be under general anesthesia.  But it IS what it IS.  NO use CRY’N before the milk has been SPILT!

So Albee and I foolishly thought we would have time to go home in between appointments.  Yeah we could go home but back to the U district.  I DON’T know what we were SMOKE’N?  So where do Seattle-ites go to kill time?  STARBUCKS!  Why Bucks and not another coffee shop you ask?  Allow me to clear my throat and tell you about Shultz.  He followed the all mighty Mac D’s play book.  His coffee shops are clean, always ADA compliant bathrooms, decent music and Cake Pops.

Albert sunk into a brown leather chair and I rolled in next to him.  He pulled out his Droid and checked work out.  In the leather chair next to him was a woman do’n something on her iPad.  Next to her an older woman sitting Indian style reading a book.  In the next seat an Asian woman.  In walk two Latin men in construction attire.  All of us in our own worlds.  But we collide at coffee.  Thanks Howie!

I looked out the large picture window.  I’ve been swept up in a tornado of pain.  Hadn’t realized fall fell.  It was beautiful.  The golden leaves were everywhere. The evergreens still well green.  Then a TRIFECTA of NEGRONESS walked by.  One braided, one nap-a-fied and lastly silk scarf wrapped one.  Let me break this MESS down for you.  Sista in braids NO explanation needed. Nappy girl was an uncombed medium fro with a slightly longer Snooky poof on top.  Ok she actually would have picked the top of her hair out and smoothed it into the Snooky poof.  WHY? WHY?  Scarf girl is not to be confused with Muslim head wraps.  It is your grandma’s satin scarf.  NORMALY we wrap our hair at night and sleep in it (EVEN Michelle Obama wraps at night).  What’s WORSE it looked like she didn’t rewrap when she woke up.  Just ROLLED out of bed and joined society like WHAT!  YES they were talk’n LOUD and RUBBER NECK’N!  YOU know the scene.

Friends this wasn’t on MLK drive.  It was EASTLAKE!  EASTLAKE  PEOPLE!

    Maybe three hot seconds later an Asian dude jogs by.  Ok WHY didhe have NO shirt and low riding shorts on?! It’s November!  Personally I prefer yellow tail on a bed of rice at Sam’s Sushi.  I’m just say’n…

It’s NOT in every big city you get to see all that in LESS than an hour.  Oh and sitting in the same seat!  If you were born here you don’t realize how unique the P to the N to the W is.  When I go back to LA to visit, or to NYC, I’m so disappointed with the separation racially and economically. There it’s CRAYOLA CITY.  All the greens over there and purples back there.

Then off to the second appointment.  The anesthesiologist was an ODD DUCK to put it mildly!  Albee sat behind me in the examine room.  Afterwards he said, watching the two of us communicate was a HOT MESS!  It was like watching Dennis Rodmanin DRAG and Woody Allen talking.  As I’m EXTRAVERTED he was INTRAVERTEDLY AWKARD.  To top it he slightly MUMBLES and didn’t always COMPLETE his train of thought.  Like he asks me can you brush your hair?  Y-e-s I can.  I have NO idea where he is coming or going (head scratch).  Next he asks can you climb a flight of stairs without getting out of breath?  ARE YOU KIDING ME?! DUDE, you’re LOOK’N at my chart.  I have MS.  You watched me roll in here.

Finally I REALIZED he wanted to know something about my lungs.  Like how quickly I get winded.  Am I in shape.  AYEEE!

The BEST part was when doc told me I couldn’t shave 48 hours before surgery.  I replied can I sugar? Albert had to  CLUTCH his Starbucks!  He told me in that moment he thought she DIDN’T just ask that!  Hey it AIN’T my fault if NERD boy AIN’T up on the new.  Doc had no clue.  He just tilted his head like a confused dog does and asked “sugaring?”

GOOD TIMES!  We laughed in the car all the way home.  Hink of me in the AM TOMORROW.  I’ll catch ya on the FLIP!!

It is safe to get into the water

~I’m all-ight I’m all-ight

 

Seriously though,thank you for all your kind words from those who reached out to me.  I am a little embarrassed.  I wasn’t fish’n for attention! It’s not my first rodeo.  I’ve had six surgical procedures for this.  I REALLY am not in pain all the time.  There are some types of MS where you are.  More I think about it I’m glad I told you about the pain.  People always say I’m so brave.  I’m really not.  Pain broke me last week. It’s been two a and half years since I’ve been in this kind of pain.  .  With the pain I thought I was going INSANE.  I feel like you saw me with my PANTS DOWN! SHEESH!

With that said I am still in a measure of pain.  Drugs take a HUGE bite out of it though. At first I was SAD and MAD!  That gets nowhere FAST. Thus my last entree. It is reasonable I was sad even mad to a point.  But at the end of the day you have to let the anger go.  I mean who is there to mad at?  Like I said before it’s the practice of medicine.  Doctors are not gods.  Even though a lot THINK are.

It’s funny I was getting hung up with I can’t do.  This morning in the shower I was praying for Jehovah God to help me with the Trigeminal problem.  I feel my prayer was answered.  It occurred to me I was looking at it all wrong.  I was focusing on what I couldn’t do and the pain.  I’m still Allison.  I can smile, listen, see, text, email. In truth there is more I can do than can’t.  I was getting caught up with feeling like I’m not normal. WHAT IS NORMAL?!  They want us to think what we see on TV is.  Yeah size 4 is the average size of women in the world, zits only happen in commercials and no one goes gray or has roots.  Who are “they” anyway and why won’t they give us their full names?

I’m figuring out what letters or  sounds are painful. Like the word English, the gl combo KILL’s me.  IRONIC, we already know I can barely write the language and now I can’t say it.  Fortunately I’m fluent in writing and speaking in Ebonics.  He he hee!  No but seriously it’s kinda fun.  Its painful to say my company name, Zimp Carpet Cleaning.  The pucker of  the MP sound isa KILLER.  So when I answer my work phone I say thank you for calling Zimp (almost a silent P).  Then the customer replies are this Zimp Carpet Cleaning?  Then in a clear voice I say YES.  The are 26 letters in the English alphabet.  Countless word possibilities.  I can do this and even if I’m wrong.  No one can say I didn’t try.

When I was diagnosed with MS it was it was a BLOW the GUT.  I will never forget what my Daddy said to me.  Don’t let this disease define you.  You define it.  I looked up Stephen W. Hawking is ALS didn’t define him. He is a brilliant man.  I forgot that.   I need to feel view my Trigeminal that way .

I’m going to carry a spiral note to everywhere.  Tapped to the front will be a general statement.  Briefly say my Trigeminal Neuralgia is flaring up and it hurts to full on take… If they start talking louder or slower I will flip note book over.  I’m NOT deaf and dumb. On the back it will say DON’T talk slow or loud. Think of it like game of CLUE with limited words.  So figure out who did it, where and what object was uses. If friends say that’s horrible or go down that poor Allison road I will flip the notebook over again.  The next note will say it is what it is.  We might as well make it fun!

I’m glad we had this talk.  We always ask one another how we are doing and NO ONE is honest.  Half of the time the asker is hoping whomever they asked will say I’m good.  Then they can just keep it MOVE’N.  Most of us have done this.  We don’t have time to hear they’re cat died, there sciatica is act’n up and there job cut some of their hours.  The flip side is when you’re asked you don’t want your business in the streets.  So you reply to the question I’m find (bottom lip quivering) YOU KNOW YOUR LIEING!  Your husband of 10 years just left you, there is a suspicious lump in your left breast and your car won’t start!

That’s my story and I’m STICKING to it.  :0)

 

 

 

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