Is it me or does life sometimes feel like its rolling out of control in the wrong direction.   This week has been so stressful.  My Trigeminal Neuralgia is making noise again.  I could describe it but why when wikapedia does such a good job .  Unfortunately they are correct when they call it the suicide disease. As if the normal rig am arrow you know the norm not walking, leg spasms and fingers not wanting to work right wasn’t enough. RIGHT

I don’t know how to express how bad it hurts.  Well just imagine Freddy Krueggr taking his Edward Scissors hand and ripping your face off.   Here’s the kicker you DON’T die.  Just get the pleasure of feeling this joyous PAIN repeatedly until you have surgery.  This takes a time to schedule.  But don’t be sad for me.  Apparently Trigeminal is an equal opportunity ailment. You too can get it.  Having a preexisting neurological condition just puts you at the front of the line. Most commonly women after menopause get it.  OH YAAY RIGHT! SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO!!!!!!

Figuring out my coverage for Albert’s upcoming one week business trip to the east coast is always fun. Planning rides to upcoming appointments and I don’t know work.  It’s all a little bit much.  Oh and to top it all off recently my access bus just got here forty five minutes early!   How are they even gonna ask me if I’m ready and can leave early?  NO I’m not ready!  I’m handicap FOOL, that’s why I ride the short bus.  STUPID!  Yes they apologized for their mistake but said they couldn’t wait for me to put my shoes and coat on and come out.  Apparently they just come back and pick you up.   Get this, they said it would be in an hour and half and told me to call my appointment to see if that would work.  Of course I told them NO THANKS.   I don’t need to call them to see if that works.  What about if that works for me?  They treat you like your handicap so you not have a life.  NO, that won’t work.  PLEASE!  Don’t waste any more of my time.  I was so mad I could SPIT.

This has been such a bloody year.  Taiban shooting a 14 year old girl that’s in world news for wanting to go to school to learn?!! REALLY!  Probably shouda let one slide.  Now even some Talaban supporters are like YOU OUT OF LINE DOG.  BAD CALL! BAD CALL!  It’s heart breaking violence.  Treyvon Martin, massacre in Syria, the shootings at the movie theater in Colorado and Sikh Mosque!  Even if you believe it’s the last days death is death and hard to watch.   I just have a sick feeling in my stomach.

In one act we all lost another part of our innocence.  The next time you go to the movies will you ever look at the person sitting next to you that you don’t know the same way?  Will you make sure you know where the exits are?  Oh and PLEASE don’t let some fool be on their phone and walk towards an exit.  Wanna see a black woman in a wheelchair act up?  NO you are not innocent until proven guilty.  I AIN’T GOT TIME FOR THAT!

What was so bad in that white boy’s life to make him want to kill people?  He grew up in San Diego.  Even if he was abused by a family member I don’t get it.  People say he must be mental.  I think that is disrespectful to people with mental disorders.   Many people with schizophrenia are plagued with scary voices in their head or Bipolar where the manic spells that go from depth of the sea to the height of mount Everest peak.  There was nothing they did to cause their illness.  Don’t classify him with them.

His act was devious, prideful with no remorse.  He was in his right mind enough to seamlessly plan this whole thing out.  This individual researched and purchased body armor and guns.  It takes skills to lock and reload multiple rounds of ammo, aim at 230 moving people, keep your composer and successfully shoot 71 people.  Do you think he hit everyone on the first try?

That BOY yes BOY (he doesn’t deserve to be called a man) has affectively ruined thousands of lives.  A resident EVIL he is. I think we tend to fall back on the statement “they must have mental problem” because we don’t want to think someone is that awful. Time to face the truth kids, demented hateful do exist.  Hitler was a real man and this BOY would have killed the same amount as Hitler did if he had the means to.


6 thoughts on “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

  1. Dad says:

    You do indeed have a life and you use that life to bring joy to others. We are very proud of you for that. So is Jehovah. It pains him to see you in pain, but he smiles when he sees who you really are. We love you very much. – Dad

  2. Valria says:

    Sending you a Hug girl!!! I am proud to call you my friend!

  3. Raquel says:

    Man Ali i didn’t know you are having that kind of pain!!! that is crazy! I know you said not to feel bad for “you ” but I cant help it but to feel sadden that you have to endure such a horrible pain 😦 I know that if we love our “friends” we are bound to feel sad and pained not only because you going through so much but also because I have no power to make a difference or to help you get rid of that pain 😦 I can though ask our heavenly father to give you the strength you need to keep going and to bring the relief that is so much needed.
    I know only a tiny fracture of how you must feel since i had a horrible headache, that i wanted to smash my head under a tractor to make it go away for about two months. So even though I cant compare it to the pain you are facing now I can tell you that I do not like my friends to have to go though that! And I feel so upset that you have to face this things. I cant help it but to admire you so much more, cuz you stay strong no matter what goes on! cant stop the tears that come rolling down my face, not that i cant feel your pain but because i got much more to learn from a friend!

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