Ok,  so when I took on this blogging endeavor I thought I’d write a couple entries a week.  Who knew this guy named job would be so needy.  It started out like most relationships do.  You see each other once a week, maybe talk two or three times in the same week.  BUT before you know it, it’s like multiple text’s a day, email, phone calls AND he wants to see you LIKE everyday.  Yes, it seems like EVERYONE in the Greaaater Seattle area has add ONE  thought.  UH-HUH! You guessed it; to have their carpets CLEANED.  I started this entry last week and here we are.

So your girl apparently has a REAL Jto the  O to the B!!  Don’t get me wrong I love my job…I REALLY do job.  MS has SO generously gave me various disabilities.  FORCEING me to need assistance in some way with almost everything I do.  Working I ACTUALLY get to help other people.  Manage schedules, answer phones, book appointments you name it.  Working for a tiny (there are less than 10 employees. To say its small is pushing the envelope!) business, problem solving is the name of the game.

Ok so can we talk?  Can we talk?

We have had such good weather this summer in Seattle.  Some would and do complain they want more heat.  Ok, SO you do realize you live in Seattle           RIGHT?!   Shut UP and be happy for the sun! We went 50 days no rain.  Once again PEOPLE 5 to the 0 days NO rain.   SEATTLE?  WHAAAT?!!  Even at that we only had ONE measureable day of rain then back to sun and 70’s and 80’s temps.  Yup it’s like that.

Even though I’m in a chair with wheels at my hips (and they don’t lie) I’ve ENJOYED this weather.  We live in a third floor condo.  We have four picture windows in our family/dining room.  My laptop I work from is on our dining room table.  If I look out the window to my left I see the bustling street and the Seattle PI Newspaper spinning giant Globe.  Funny the Newspaper died as they all have but time globe spins on.  Through the window to my far right I see Mertyel Edwards Park and the Puget Sound.  This time a year I see cruise ships, sail boats.  It really is the best of both worlds. Sunny days just add to the delight.

The BAD thing about good summers like this is people visiting during them want to move here! I can here John Smith talking to his wife and kids. HE would be like who wants to move sunny Seattle? To which his wife and kids giddily clap there hands say yes. No John and Kimmy we don’t want you or your BRATs! Traffic is SNARLED enough as it is.  We don’t need any more STINK’N people.  There should be a moratorium on having children going forward…

Like China you are allowed one kid.  From there it’s a one in and one out basis.  Meaning, one die’s allows a new one to live.  You must apply in advance and pass a LIFE test.  Meaning, prove you’re not a PEDOPHILE, ABUSIVE PARENT OR JUST PLAIN STUPID AKA A WASTE OF A GOOD SET OF LEGS!!  If you pass that screening you will be given a number let’s say 23.  When the 23rd person dies in the year you wish to conceive you will be text to come to the conception office of Seattle.  However be aware five of each number is given out.  WHY?  Well it’s a reality show of course. It’s AMERICA BABY, the stat needs money.   We have to make it almost like a game.  Keep people’s emotions on a roller coaster.  Which couple of the five will get to the office first?  The early 30’s hipsters wanting their first Ironic child?  What about the mid 40’s doctors wanting to give little Suzie a sibling.  Wrong?  Maybe.  GOOD TV? YES! WHAT Mark Burnett? If you had the pleasure of sitting in Seattle traffic you ‘d wish for a few less heads UP IN HERE TO.

Once the couple gets the text the fun begins.  Well for the views on the couch anyways.  You see the conception will only text ONE member of said couples.  That person has to find the other and BOTH have to appear at the Seattle Conception office.   You think Amazing Race is exciting?!

Once they get to the office guest who they are greeted by?  Christian Siriano season four winner of Project Runway.  YES friends his FIERCE self-works the front desk.  I KNOW, RIGHT!  Can’t you see it and hear it.  When the first team (couple) arrives he would cheer leader style clap his hands together shrieking Congratulations BREADERS your couple number ONE flipping his hair.  But if you arrive after that he’d reach his hands straight forward and tilt his head to the left and say your number two did the Ballard bridge get ya(shoulder shrug for full affect)?  Then becking the sad face to him he quickly goes from sad to happy.

  • Side Bar- Truth be told he was never was sad for the breeders to begin with.  He only took the job because his fashion line dried up and he wanted to stay in the lime light.

Back to the show.  The visibly shaken team  slowly walks up to the counter.  Christian hands the husband papers to fill out telling him they will be first in line next year.  Smile breeder man we’re sure of at least ten deaths next year. Continuing he leans into the couple flipping his symmetrical band out his eyes giggling granny won’t make it another year….

Aannd back to the GREAT weather.  Well unless you live in Fargo or Denver where they just had their snow (tear).  But I don’t and I want to jump rope!  Remember when simple things like that or four square, tether ball and swing on bars at lunch.  Living in the PNW you love days to be able to play outside.  What I would give to be able to take a long walk outside with my honey and the pups.

Slow down and take this weekend where ever you live.  Let the troubles of the week slide of your back like a school kid taking off his back pack on Friday!  Don’t worry it and the anxieties will still be there Monday morning when you pick it up.  Then do something this weekend for me.  Skip three times then jump four times.  Don’t jump then skip.  I don’t want any anger in it.  You can angrily jump but can you skip angrily?  If you are really ambitious get some chalk and play HOP SCOTCH.  That would be the BOM DIGADY.  If you have friends or a significant do it in front of each other.  Please think me when you do it.  I want to hear stories.  Oh and W Seattle/Yakima make it a group thang (anything with liquor is more fun they tell me)

But of course I have a song to get you in the mood!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NHjUEdiebE


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